i feel like music, cold play. i feel like im on the high way, mini copper. i feel there's a mask on my face, smiling one. i feel like singing, roaring instead. i feel like gaining fit and puch something hard, break though. sometimes i feel why i never get AIDS and die, do i deserve to get it? so i can feel the haven. i feel.. i feel... so lost.

are these the things i suppose to say when im down, e fact is that i really cant tink of anything at e bright side of life as what everyone suggested you see. this is a fact. when one's down, he can only tink of negatives. negatives negatives negatives... i told myself, everything, everything will get better after 1 or 2 months. but now, i cant help my heart is crying. i miss my family.