才能觉得活着: December 2007

B!tCH.

SMS from Ling

"I miss you fuckerdoo!"

Such a joy to receive such msg out of sudden.
Love it & love you.

Miss Yishun.

26th, Dec, 07'

12pm: woke up
2pm: washing of undies and socks
4pm: bought a small gift at Muee vivo for nigel's aunt's gift exchange later
530pm: being the first guest of nigel's aunt's Christmas Party
540pm: first bottle of Henieeken opened. Love it. Amazed by how much beers and liquids aunty has. You name it, she has it. 4 catons.
6pm: helped aunty prepare her stuff a little. *changing of table cloth, moving of beers, gift wrapping, etc.
8pm: nigel reached. 2nd bottle of Henieeken being down my throat. 3rd bottle opened with Nachos and spicy sauce. Love it.
9pm: guests started coming in. *All are aunty's working colleague at Penny Black.
10pm - 3am: chat with nigel, watching ppl play cards, drinks and more drinks.
3am - 5am: fall in love with nigel. For the Ginga tower he bought me. Everyone loves it. And we started playing it. Loser, drinks. Winner of the day? ME.
5am - 7am: Aunty was being selected as "Miss Yishun" with a lovely dress and high hills. A video was recorded by me and bluetoothed to others. Gift exchange started. A shower pack for me. Godsh, that's sure from a girl. And nigel was the luckiest dude of the night, received total of 3 left-over-gift.
730am: thanked aunty. Leave
9am: reached home. bathed without brushing teeth. Dead.

woke up at 430pm 27th, Dec, 07'
now. staving.

X'mas Day

I must grap every opportunity to blog nowadays, chances are rare, heh.
Alright, here is the thing.

Celebrated X'mas yesterday during dinner at dear Bruno's house. Met Dravyn and Arul!!! They are my old old seconday friends, when i first saw them walk inside the door, i felt like crying. seriously, it's been almost 3 years we've been apart, i miss them. Even though my heart aches but i put on a fucking big smile on my face and gave each of them a big hug after.

I miss all of them.
So, while we happily playing Bruno's PS2 (soccer game) and enjoying the food of Christmas prepared by Bruno's mama, me and dravyn started drinking. Yeah!! (Thanks wen for the vet drink, all my friends love it, and all comment it taste like bali =) We took it slowly at first though, and slowly slowly we started to fall in love with the drink and den, we realise we 2 actually finished one whole fucking bottle of 39.5% rice wine! First time, ever =))
Did felt a bit giddy after all had left, sleep, a dreamless sleep, wooooO that feels nice~

Morning, i was awake at 540am, and i remember i slept at 2am. Had lots of thoughts, and after all here is what i concluded: After graduate, after i found a job, after i really settle down, the first thing im going to do? have a "Thanks Party" to all my best friends and friends. To all the friends who had helped me along my journey. Maybe give a speech or something. It will be a lovely one =)

X'mas

It's finally the long waiting Christmas!
Trust me guys, no matter what happens to you right now, juz don bother, its e fucking god damn Christmas man! WHY CARE SO MUCH!

Have fun! Laugh more! Fuck more!

For me, i just celebrated Christmas Eve with wen.
Location: Vivo & Sentosa
Time: 4-10pm.
Activities: Movie, Food, Wine, Talks (Called my parents too, i miss them i love them).

Ling: i love you.
Nigel: enjoy this day, i see u tomo and after this day u better settle ur problem i tell u.
Amanda: i shall see u in 2 days time, happy happy happy christmas and ur big birthday in advance! hohoO =)

Its really time for me to concentrate on my friends. I have missed lots of time which suppose to spend with them..

Just wonder..

How God created us and fooled us!

Godsh, God God God. Please give me a cheese cake.

My soul shall be yours. Play with it God. Play.

A little noTe.

Part of my morning notes:

Happiness

Happiness is defined as when you have nothing left in your pocket, yet you still love the existence of your true love, and your best friends are still there for you. Love and friends. True happiness it is.

thoughts

these two days i can say is more on emotionally~ woke up late, still trying to eat a lot, still missing someone badly. and my parents too. my dad, many times tears in my eyes when i ate, whenever i think of the first meal im going to eat with my parents together when i go back next year i juz cannot take it. i think its really time for me to go back...

Christmas is coming in 4 short days, i wondering how it'll be like with her, our first Christmas. i hope everything goes well.

Here i want to thank Ling, Lenny n Nigel again. I wont forget everything. I will mark it down somewhere deep in my heart, when im good in future, you guys are the first ones im going to thankful.

I love you.

It's funny how there are things that break and do not make a sound.

They can be more delicate than the glass

but the glass makes a whole lot of noise but the other things

mostly break with a silent tear.

- Ling

Thanks.

To e one who call me Flirt.

To e One Who Called Me Flirt:

Don't ever think of playing my bro's feeling cos im his best fucking buddy.

If you have something positive going on in ur mind i suggest you go and express ur feeling truely to him.

If that's not e case, i dare you back off.

im so lost...

wen

pray it is safe for the coming days
plz, take good care of yourself wen, if not my heart will be pieces
loves
misses...

God's creation

-

All The Lost Souls

James Blunt

1
1973
2
Annie
3
Carry You Home
4
Give Me Some Love
5
I Can't Hear the Music
6
I Really Want You
7
I'll Take Everything
8
One of the Brightest Stars
9
Same Mistake
10
Shine On

Question of Love

If you so in love, will you take back everything after your breakup?
If you so in love, will you think it is right to expect the same returns for all the things you had given after your breakup?
If you so in love, will you care no more e moment right after your breakup?
If you so in love, will you just do not give a fuck about what happen to him/her after your breakup?

I will never think about what i can get back after all the loves n givings..

Whatever i had contributed to the love, i will never ever ask back.

*Put e money owed aside.

Materialistic

Selfish

Stingy

are the things i can see from you,

be it good or bad,

it lets me know you better after so much.

Yes, blame on everything, it is ALL MY FAULT, but all these behaviours really question me of your love in the past.

Forget it.

It's past anyway.

I already prepared for every consequences.

I will take it as payback time for all the shit did to you.

This random picture just simply reminds me of so much memories.

Memories that store in my heart and mind for years...

Hoping out of bed and thinking of the one thing that will make the morning sun a little brighter.

That will make the birds sing a little more.

Enthusiastically that will make the crisp air seem a little crisper and that will make my day before the day even really starts.

- Simply. Miss. You.

Self Reference

Vill paid to start fires - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/420122.stm
Short term causes, Airport affected - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15131360/
Causes of forest fire, what govt plan to do in e next 2 years - http://www.terradaily.com/reports/Indonesia_Hopes_To_See_Haze_Lift_Within_Two_Years_999.html

reports n reports n it is killing me slowly.

930am: Start on ERW report

10am: In the process

11am: In the process

12am: In the process

now: Dying...

I tot i would have a hard time work on this shit, but after i get myself on the mood, i realise this module is not that hard after all. All thanks to my internship experiences =)

Should not be a problem to finish it b4 5pm.

moody day

Nth much happened for today, but im quite moody i have no idea why..

im sorry Amanda for not meeting your dar, as u can see from my face also, i juz no mood to do anything. next time if got chance, i surely will check out him from head to toe =)

Ling, im fucking happy for you. i can see u live a lovely life since e moment u got ur boi. im happy for u too. even though we din really catch up for e past 1 week, but you r happy that's e thing. i have lots lots lots to tell u ling, juz wait for e right time ba.

nth much though, juz feel like vomite something here.. be it anything.

maybe i juz miss someone, maybe i know i muz control my feelings, maybe i know i cant really do anything much for her, maybe i shall give her a msg or call even thou i force myself very hard not to, or maybe bcos she's going away...

*im trying to eat more, surprisingly, i realise i really can eat a lot.

pics first...

- Fri -

Invited by wen n mandy to watch THE HEARTBREAK KID at vivo =)

so met wen at vivo first, spend quite awhile to search for a good restuarant to dine in, walk all e way from vivo to harbourfront centre.

At last - Breaks was chosen for our day =))

Here i would like to comment on e service of harhourfront Breaks, it is superb! Whenever a customer enters or leaves e place, all e stuff will great loudly but in a gentle manner.. In e end it really gets me n wen annoyed a little, but i do appreciate what they were doing, good effort. And the service speed was fast.. This is wat i called, good service quality =)

Good food, Good service

Just so my type of restaurant =))

Something done for wen, even though it's quite small ting, but i tink it really gives wen a smile:

I love U.

Made of serviet and BBQ chicken source ^^

Yes, we did took like 100s of photos during dinner, haha, juz love it.

Here i want to annouce to all,

i love wen. so in love...

wen is like everything to me =)

Something i wan to say to wen too, about e thing i chat with you on msn yesterday night, and e things i did to you for e past few days, im really sorry, to make u feel uncomfortable cos its juz not right when we are still have not in a relationship. I promise you, b4 i get an answer from you, i will nv do tat anymore.

- After Dinner -

We went to e vivo roof top, sit there chatting as usual while waiting for Mandy n her bf, not mentioning wen is acting cute again, this time was acting cool, lol..

- Movie -

Finally, Mandy n Guo An reached.. Met them at Long John, they smoked 1 or 2 after tat as usual.. Went in cinema, took photos, e funny thing was, e ticket checker checked all of us' IC.. WTF~ Do we look really tat young?? like below 21?? This is e first time i being checked though.. with all older guys somemore.. diaoz.